The Grauer School's 9th Grade class was welcomed to High School in a Matriculation ceremony. Dr. Grauer addressed the students at the start of their journey through High School and the rest of their lives.
Dr. Grauer's Column - What To Leave Behind
What To Leave Behind
By Stuart Grauer
Welcome, new 9th graders, to The Grauer School’s Matriculation into High School, an extraordinary and beautiful program and life passage. Before starting, I want to do a one-word chorus with you new freshmen. On three, repeat after me: Whatever. Say it with an exclamation point: Whatever!
Okay. Today, freshman, as you step into high school—you're launching into uncharted territory, like boarding a spaceship bound for a galaxy of transformation and discovery beyond your wilder dreams. High school. The adventure ahead is guaranteed twists, turns, and wonders you can’t even imagine, and the best stories of your life. Buckle up!
But first I want to share something with you. Just like you, I too am entering a new phase of life, I’m matriculating into a new role as Head of School Emeritus. This transition is my own rite of passage, and it mirrors what you are experiencing today.
We are crossing these thresholds together, leaving behind the familiar and stepping into the unknown. We’re wondering: what’s in this new chapter?
Like you, I feel a mixed excitement about what lies ahead. But there is something more important than excitement, and it is the closest thing I have ever known to your smarts or IQ: curiosity. Curiosity is IQ.
All over the world, people your age enter this passage. As a teacher, I’m curious about these transitions of life. Think of the various rites of passage around the world. In Jewish culture, the Bat and Bar Mitzvah celebrates a girl’s or boy’s transition to adulthood. In Latin American cultures, the Quinceañera marks the journey from girlhood to womanhood. These traditions, like today’s ceremony, represent accepting new responsibilities and opportunities. New roles. You and I, we are stepping it up, taking it to the next level.
For me, this is more than a job change—it’s a personal transformation. Did you know my daughter, who attended Grauer from fifth through twelfth grade, now has a son of her own? It feels like I’m now a grandfather to both my family and to this school. Imagine that—a school with a grandfather!
Each of you is stepping into your own special time of growth and self-discovery, much like the Japanese teen Seijin Shiki ceremony, where they dress in kimono or hakama suits celebrating and embracing their role as adults. Yours is a sweatshirt. You are stepping through a portal into high school, but just as important is the world you get to leave behind.
So for matriculation today, I offer you just 3 rites of passage:
Rite #1: Things You Can Leave Behind
- Fear of failure
- Too much dependence on others—it is your path now.
- The need to fit in—because being yourself is the most valuable thing you bring to this new world.
Rite #2: Things to Keep
- Curiosity, imagination, and playfulness—you’ll carry these even as you grow older, maybe even as a grandfather! Curiosity, imagination, and playfulness –they are all aspects of our core values.
- And one more: Kindness. It starts with a simple smile.
Rite#3: Things to Develop
- Curiosity! You have it. Have more! As you move forward, we at Grauer hereby grant you the courage to explore the paths you’re drawn to, even if others don’t follow. Whether it's joining a club or taking an unexpected expedition, trust in your instincts. There is a straight line from curiosity to feeling fulfilled in this life and becoming intelligent.
- The other thing to develop is sleep. Getting enough sleep is deeply connected to curiosity because sleep plays a critical role in cognitive functioning, including memory, attention, and emotions— these all fuel curiosity. When you're well-rested, your brain is better able to retain new knowledge, and remain alert, making you more likely to engage with the world around you with open curiosity. And sleep enhances creativity.
In summary: Hold onto your curiosity, imagination, and kindness. Let go of fear and doubts that might hold you back.
As we both embark on these new journeys—me into my emeritus role and you into high school—my great wish is that we each discover new passions and step into leadership.
Parents of curious, creative and courageous kids: here is your test. Being shocked is going to be tempting as our kids go through changes. Will you take this path, or will you find a way of being amused, entertained, intrigued, however reluctantly charmed, maybe perplexed, or at least always curious, as you observe your kids during four dazzling phenomenal years of gaining independence and leaving home? Yes, they drive you crazy, and you them, and yes, they will always be a part of our loving school family. We’re believers.
Students: You are ready to search for the real you in all your amazingness and that takes courage. Try that elective or club that makes you feel challenged, or even a bit uncomfortable, stretched, vulnerable, on edge—not just the one that it seems like everyone will expect of you. Honor your curiosity fiercely. And when someone says, “I didn’t think you liked that kind of thing,” say: “Whatever!” Let’s hear it: “Whatever!”
You go for it.
Welcome to life 2.0. I’m proud to be walking this path of transformation alongside you.
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