Dr. Grauer's Column - Stressed

Stressed
By Stuart Grauer

The latest research from Challenge Success was released in an article called Stressed, Tired, and Yearning for Support by Denise Clark Pope, Sarah Miles, Megan Pacheco, and Caitlin Ciannella (2025). Their nationwide findings paint what could look like a grim picture of high school in America, namely that students are struggling under the weight of unhealthy stress, chronic sleep deprivation, and a lack of belonging. The purpose of this column is to try to find any light in this picture, a more joyful way forward.  

Alarming Findings

Challenge Success surveyed over 270,000 high school students across the United States, including those in public, private, and charter schools. Some key takeaways include:

• Unhealthy Stress Levels: Students cite academic workload, tests, and high expectations as overwhelming sources of stress. Pressure from parents and caregivers exacerbates this burden, leaving students feeling inadequate and anxious about their future prospects.
• Sleep Deprivation: High school students average 6.6 hours of sleep per night—well below the recommended 8-10 hours—negatively impacting their ability to learn, manage stress, be creative, and function effectively.
• A Crisis of Belonging: Many students report feeling isolated and unsupported, with a significant number lacking a trusted adult to turn to at school.

A year or so ago, I met with seniors at The Grauer School to talk to them about the difference between unhealthy and healthy stress, and the idea that we each have a choice in treating stress as debilitating versus motivational. In the face of research that their response to stress really was theirs to choose or deny, most denied. Students claimed they had no choice. They were choosing bad-form stress. It seemed so wasteful. Could I explain to them how incredibly generative stress has been to me in my life?

I think our students are capable of learning how all of us can channel stress positively with continued training and encouragement—but great schools have to provide that training and encouragement. So where do we go from here?

Student Voices

Although many students may not feel optimistic about their capacity to manage stress (even though we know they can with the right, consistent guidance), they do want to change this. The article includes firsthand accounts from students around the country expressing their struggles and desires for change. A few memorable statements include:

• "I thought stress was normal in high school, but not to the point where I can’t breathe at night."
• "I wish my parents knew they don’t need to make me feel bad about my test scores—I already feel bad enough."
• "I wish my classmates knew that we’re all going through the same things, but sometimes I feel alone."

While these statements are discouraging, maybe they can be the wake-up call we all need. When students feel unseen, unheard, and unsupported, their ability to thrive academically and personally is compromised. Our job as teachers is not just curricular content, it’s social-emotional content, spiritual content, especially content that shows youths that they really have some great choices about how to feel. It’s all about empowerment and confidence.

How Do We Respond?

If we take teen concerns seriously, what can we do? The first step is to launch a campaign highlighting how unnecessary bad stress is—that it is a cast of mind we have control over. Once again, stress is inevitable and is often beneficial. With training, students can learn to interpret stress as either helpful or harmful—a choice that powerfully impacts their well-being and performance. Research in psychology, including studies on the stress mindset theory (for instance, Crum, Salovey, & Achor, 2013), shows that viewing stress as a challenge rather than a threat improves resilience, focus, and outcomes.

By teaching students how to reframe stress, we empower them to harness it as a tool for growth rather than a source of harm. And the training is available to us all.

Challenge Success offers additional research-backed recommendations to improve student well-being and reduce unhealthy stress. Some key strategies include:

• Reset Family Expectations: Shift the focus from grades and college admissions to a broader definition of success that includes growth, resilience, and well-being. Post high school preparation can obviously be stressful, but it is a normal rite of passage our kids are completely capable of moving through with a positive mindset. Be a believer: our kids ARE up to it—and not because of their advanced vocabulary and soccer skills.
• Rethink the School Day: Implement schedules that reduce the number of daily classes, allowing students to focus more deeply and manage their workload more effectively.
• Revamp Homework Policies: Ensure assignments are meaningful, high-quality, and manageable within a healthy timeframe. When the homework seems meaningful, thank a teacher!

In sum, and once again, there are no remaining reasons for families to expect college acceptance to be a negative experience unless they choose it to be so. (Admittedly, the financial piece can cause some stress that could be tricky to manage.) Here are two other items which are shown to contribute to a positive mindset:

Better Sleep

• Adjust School Start Times: The Grauer School has aligned school schedules with adolescent circadian rhythms, and this can dramatically improve sleep duration and overall well-being—unless your teen is choosing to go to bed at unhealthy hours and to ignore all we know about sleep needs—and happiness.
• Educate Students on Sleep Hygiene: Parents, teachers, and school officials all must promote the importance of sleep and practical ways to improve their habits, such as limiting screen time before bed and reducing caffeine intake. Keep the conversation going. Watch YouTubes on this together! (There are plenty. Here is one example: "How sleep deprivation hurts teens and what parents can do to help.") Keep encouraging.

Fostering a Sense of Belonging

• Strengthen Student-Adult Connections: Our school’s mentorship programs, advisory groups, gratitude circles on expeditions, office hours, and one-on-one check-ins have all been developed to ensure every student has a trusted adult at school. These critical connections are a key, driving metric that schools can and must aspire to above and beyond stressing out about SATs and other such external data. To be specific, many high earners and happy people may not have high SAT scores; other skills—such as creativity, risk-taking, or social intelligence—are crucial.
• Encourage Peer Support: Create spaces where students can openly share their struggles and connect with one another. Again: School advisory groups, clubs, office hours, active counseling office, and teacher professional development focused on this can be prioritized at any school.

 

Getting Action

The Challenge Success data reinforces what many of us in education have known for years. Let’s listen to our kids deeply for where they are and where they might be heading. Psychological research shows that relationships, purpose, and mental health play a far greater role in happiness than academic performance. There’s little evidence that higher scores in schools brings greater success or happiness in later life or career. If we want great kids and schools, along with a peaceful and creative experience, we can prioritize student well-being as much as we prioritize scholastic outcomes.

Today, ask a student in class and at home: “What do you need today? …What do you really need?”

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