Dr. Grauer's Column - Napoleon Emeritus

Napoleon Emeritus
By Stuart Grauer

One of my favorite all-time movie lines is from Napoleon Dynamite (2004). Napoleon gets on the school bus and a pesky little kid sits down next to him, unwelcome, and says, “Hey Napoleon, what are you doing after school today?”

Napoleon, a bit irritated, replies: “Whatever I want!” 

I can’t get over this line. This week I invite you to not get over it, too. Here’s the story:

A year ago, I switched my role from Head of School at The Grauer School, a role which I created and developed for 33 years, to Head of School Emeritus, which I will be creating and developing for life. Transitions are always the trickiest parts of life and, as hard and painful as they can be, they are where most of the great teaching and learning takes place. Now that school is out and there are few kids around to write about, it is time to cover the Emeritus role and explain what’s in it for you.

First off, "emeritus" itself has its origins in Latin, where it means "earned" or "deserved." Emerita are generally distinguished individuals who have retired from their fulltime roles but whose expertise and legacy continue to benefit their institution or community. The role typically does two things: acknowledges past contributions and provides for the earned-one to remain involved in an advisory and honorary capacity. In my case, I am charged with setting an educational vision.

I am creating this position with no direct role models but many heroes. For example, after resigning from his position at the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton in 1945, Albert Einstein was granted the title of Emeritus Professor. Einstein continued his work in theoretical physics, contributing to the development of quantum theory and unified field theory. He remained an active voice in scientific discourse and public policy, advocating for civil rights and nuclear disarmament.

Maya Angelou, the renowned poet and author, was awarded the title of Emerita at Wake Forest University and became even more prominent in her literary influence, contributing to discussions on race, identity, and social justice.

Einstein could not have seen the movie, and my guess is that Angelou probably would not have used it as a major reference, but I have enjoyed interpreting my duties as Napoleon Dynamite would. I am writing about this, moreover, because I know there are analogs for all of us, in all of our lives.

In my Emeritus time, so far, I have met with school board members, friends, and parents for wine, dinners, surf sessions, breakfasts, planning sessions and walks. I have attended many mixers, charitable events, and festivities. I have attended most but not all Grauer Foundation board meetings, where I am a lifetime trustee. And I have attended most meetings of our board Finance Committee, where I have served for many years and plan on continuing. I enjoy those meetings, learn from the people at them, and have a completely unique and intuitive understanding about the success of our business model that I try to share, not always successfully.

The parents I meet at Grauer School events are incredibly enjoyable to talk to and endlessly curious about the purposes of The Grauer School and the special role we play in education. 

Emeritus honors a past role, and yet I’m living in the present. But the fact that the present does not require too much day to day, organizational management and bureaucracy is way okay by me, along with Einstein and Angelou, it’s safe to say.

On our board, I have a special role, as our resident expert in independent school governance. This is a topic that may sound familiar to some people but that in fact people understand about as well as, say cryptocurrency or automobile leasing terms. I report on governance at meetings and talk about it with first year or prospective board members. I enjoy studying governance, which is oversight, and plan to be engaged in teaching and studying it for a long time. Do you want to talk about it?

The subtheme here is, we can use the transitions of life to continue doing what we care about, but in more subtle, mindful, and creative ways. Transitions are the best time to find and help others who share our purposes and to share creativity with them. What I have to share creatively about is small-scale, transformative education and so I am sharing my work with almost anyone willing to engage. 

In sharing, I enjoy documenting what’s so beautiful about traditional and grounded education, as though it were walking the soft solid ground of a forest before it goes away, cut down. I have appeared on podcasts, webinars and interviews from around the world and accepted two invitations to provide upcoming keynote addresses at educational conferences in the coming school year, all to advance this vision. 

It is impossible to think of an Emeritus role as an assigned role. Before you are given the title, you are surely doing it, anyway. You tend to be living it, especially in a small town like Encinitas. So I’m thinking globally but, as the saying goes, acting mostly locally. Everywhere I go around my home, I am treated like a brand and an individual, combined. I try to play that up by wearing our latest swag and sometimes driving the vintage Suburban Wagon, which gets me shakas wherever I go around town.

I also really enjoy connecting with alumni—if you are an alum reading this, know that. The school has permeable boundaries and it not the kind of school you leave through a gate and are gone from, unless that is what you want. The most important thing The Grauer School can be is a connected community and many of the teachers, parents and alumni there are family friends. I’ve actually had a few alumni apologize to me for ways they acted in high school but I’ve never been able to see things that way. I don’t think I’ve ever had a case where I didn’t think that student was just going through a phase and, in some cases, even more adorable than badass. They may have gone through changes but, to me, their best essence does not change and that is the way I tend to see them all. They are all emeriti.

Part 2 of 2.
In Napoleon Dynamite, there is also a line that gives me the creeps. This is when Uncle Rico says: "I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon. I'm not making this up." You see, Uncle Rico peaked in high school where he was the quarterback. 100% of his great stories are set back there, the only time he was in his element and, though he can still spiral a football, he has not done much distinguishing since. In the context of academia, it can be hard to face the challenge of balancing past contributions with current titular and ceremonial roles, or to be a has-been. That could easily describe an emeritus if you let it.  Luckily, I don’t feel that way at all. It’s all part of the same arc to me. 

So, I have various roles, like each of you do. Most of those roles are fun, but all are dwarfed by a single one. On campus this past year, I participated some student discussion groups, lunch talks, and surf sessions, and this could be the most important thing I do. I get my energy and my insight from kids. Regardless of my ceremonial roles or Latin titles, I’m most comfortable just hanging out with teachers and students on the quad, substitute teaching, helping teachers who need an extra driver for their field trip, or helping out on expeditions. I love to talking to parents, too, since no matter what they are going through, I tend to have gone through it before. I get my energy and purpose from real people in the real community I spent decades building. That’s home. 

The Emeritus role gives me all the time I want to really study our field and its emerging models. I try to write about this in this very column every week or two. Sure, I love the theoretical and research worlds, but I feel like a fraud in that world unless I can fill in the stats with actual experience, inner emotions, and real relationships.

Upon assuming Emeritus status, we Emerita have the freedom to choose how to contribute to our organization and professional field, whether through advisory roles, mentorship, or pursuing personal interests that could contribute to our field. I feel charged with engaging in activities that align with my passions and expertise, without the constraints of daily management. I am not the first Grauer School Emerita. We named two earlier Faculty Emerita who have had that same charge. Dr. Edith Eger, bestselling author, Holocaust survivor, and psychotherapist, was best at explaining to us how and why a teacher needed first to be a healer. And Don Kish, veteran of the legendary Bell Labs where he developed seven patents, was an endless source of devotion and service to our school and students.

Similar to those two whom I look up to, for my whole 50-year career, I have prioritized personal autonomy for growth, exploration, and the pursuit of fulfillment beyond conventional, assigned roles or titles. Importantly, this priority, the personal autonomy for growth, is exactly what I want for my students, and for you.

In sum, despite the difficulty I expect to have in living up to them, I want to share guiding words I have read often from Thomas Merton, the Catholic monk, writer and activist:

“I stand among you as one who offers a small message of hope… there are always people who dare to seek on the margin of society, who are not dependent on social acceptance, not dependent on social routine, and prefer a kind of free-floating existence under a state of risk.” 

Emeritus roles can be a reminder to all of us about the importance of living freely, whatever that means to you—the reminder that it can be sought. I believe we must all embrace opportunities that align with our most essential personal aspirations and values, if we can find those, and to risk it all to do that. If you want to do your job the way you know it needs doing, and it brings you joy, go for it. If you find you can’t, I hope you will risk it all to get fired. I have done so repeatedly. Nothing is more the essence of The Grauer School than this way of living, which I would hope to call “authentic.”  

So here is a thought: What is keeping us all from being the emeritus of our own lives amongst our people? And if you feel trapped as a student, parent, teacher, or board member, let’s talk. I’ll buy. Let emeritus mean the following: We here for one another. 

The great learning for me is to continue a lifetime of refusal to separate my desired and authentic identity from my professional life, or to separate my spiritual and practical lives. I understand that many among us believe we need to wear one hat for one role, and another hat for some other role, official or not, and I refuse to do that. I still show up at the school in my wetsuit dripping from the surf, and I still like wearing just one hat in all I do, changing it mainly for the weather. 

I understand that many people are going to change hats and move on with career, interests, or tastes, but I’m not going anywhere, at least that I know of yet. Nobody knows exactly what to do with me in my new role, but guess what: that has always been the case. 

In the end, I take my understanding of the emeritus life from the Elders of the Hopi Nation, in this selection of unclear attribution and often known as "We Are the Ones We've Been Waiting For":

The Elders say we must let go of the shore.
Push off into the middle of the river,
And keep our heads above water.
And I say see who is there with you
And celebrate.

Are you there?

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