Words Of Wisdom
Keynote Address to the Graduating Class of 2021

The Grauer School hosted their 12th Grade graduation celebration on June 11, 2021. You can read the text of Dr. Grauer's keynote address speech from the graduation ceremony in this column, or watch his address in a video by clicking on the image below.

I am going to provide you, the class of 2021, with true wisdom for success and happiness, a tall claim I can substantiate in a minute:

You look great overlooking our beautiful green campus. It feels like a miracle being here together after that long, long winter. I can’t see the online streamers, but hello to all of you as well—it is one of those COVID dividends to be reaching you all over the world. We are streaming live to you from native Kumeyaay land, now called Encinitas.  

Welcome! Today’s Graduation ceremony integrates our School’s deepest traditions and culture and I refer you all to the back page of the program. I want to caution you seniors, though, those traditional gowns are culturally appropriated from medieval Europe. 

Seniors!  You’re all heading off to college, or at least you are on paper: Maybe you are just holding back, finding a way to tell your parents that you’ve decided to become a street philosopher-poet and spend the next year in a van.

Heading off for college, or wherever, my role is to provide pearls of wisdom for you to take with you: 

First pearl: “It goes by a lot faster than you think—one day before long you will be standing at your matriculation ceremony wondering if you have friends and, before you know it, you will be graduating and making life decisions.”

Meanwhile, “The people at your school can be like a family and they can be your connections through life...” Remember that. Friends are life connections.

And remember another pearl of wisdom, “Just because you have to grow up doesn’t mean you have to grow up completely. You don’t need to get rid of the stuffed animal in your bed. You don’t have to give up anything that brings you joy, just because you want to be grown up.”  That’s wisdom.

And “Joy… Joy is what you are drawn to, not what other people tell you to do. If you expect others to direct you to your own joy, you could even taint your ideas.” 

To quote a wise teacher and senior graduate Josie, “So many good people don’t see like you, or are afraid... You have to try things.” Josie adds: “I’m happiest when I’m taking on new opportunities and trying new things.” 

Those are the first words of wisdom I have to share with you today. 

And, I know what you are saying: “How could Stuart be so wise? Where does he get all that wisdom?” So here’s the spoiler:  All of the above words of wisdom and ideas I have been sharing with you so far are merely notes I have been taking as I‘ve listened to the members of this class. This is the wisdom of today’s wise teachers, who are right here: the courageous Class of 2021. The above quotes are from seniors Grace, Jason, Reya, and Josie, in order.

And here is a huge tip: “Take advantage of the relationships with your teachers—they will be there for you…if only you show up for them.” That’s Ivy-wisdom. I wish I’d known that in college. Graduating from Grauer, if you have learned one thing, it’s that teachers are there to connect with students. If they are not, they are not your real teachers. Go out and find real teachers and mentors. That’s your real job! You will know them when you find them.

Quote: “This next phase is not for you to acquire gain or profit, or to be powerful, or even right: it is simply an opportunity for learning. All else will flow from that.” Thank you, Nicole, for teaching us that.

And “Every chance you get, or when things get rough, or when you’re adrift, there is a simple truth… it is a good world. Hard work will pay off if you persevere.” Graduating Seniors Chloe, Kevin and Amber all stressed this same message, focused on perseverance as a life value as they summed up their wisest learning. They seem to understand that you ultimately will get what you deserve if you persevere with passion. The class of 2021 has an amazing grasp of our school’s core values. Signing their diplomas was as easy as a walk on our quad.

This is the class that was pulled apart by a great, historic calamity, and off-the-charts political divisiveness, but they kept rooted to the school’s values, and to each other, so that when they got back to campus, they re-found each other and realized a common bond.  As Jake puts it, “We laughed at adversity and came back stronger.” Perseverance.

Thalia said, “We went our separate ways and in the end grew back together, free to be who we are and accepted as who we are.” Amazing life lesson—Thalia, this is just about to happen for you all again. You could not be readier.

The class of 2021 is the compassionate class: “We Lifted each other up,” said Amanda, or as Maddy said, “We are unique and special – but come together as a family.” 

And you are the self-advocating class. Ivy said: “We celebrate differences and find mutual interests with each other.” 

Ava calls it, “The class that came through.” Yeah, Ava! This is the resourceful class. As Selah says, “I tried everything I could get my hands on. Or as Reya explains it: “The one thing that keeps me going is trying new things.” “We are life learners,” Jake A. says, “The thought that we already know, can be our enemy.” Thank you, Jake, I could talk all day about the value of the humility there.

Maddy asks: “We have the opportunity to explore. So why not make that your life?” Yes! This is the rhetorical question of the year.  

At our senior luncheon recently, I asked Erik what characterized this class and he commented, “We embody nature, creativity, connection—everything Grauer is...we are.” Hearing a comment like that is the unspoken dream of any school in history, and it is still more grounds for graduation. It’s perfect. You are the class that shares and embodies our core values. 

I don’t deny that your education has been born out of struggle and overcoming an epic time of disconnection and hardship this past year and a half—and yet hardship and perseverance has born a greater, shared vision. Want to find your guru? Wait for a time when true optimism is hardest to find, and see who is there, expressing it. As Isabella said: “I have moments where I look out and I am in the zone and I see beauty everywhere…” We don’t award a valedictorian, but if we did it would be for the expression of vision like this.

Seniors, we have spent your senior year together, masks muffling our faces and voices, and through you all, through this class of 2021, I personally have experienced clarity, creativity, and connection along with all our core values. You are the resourceful, compassionate, perseverant, accountable, self-advocating, self-motivated class and it has been an honor to make alumni out of you. Now it is time to say Farewell to you all.

My favorite leave-taking poem that keeps inspiring me is from the Elders of the Hopi Nation, and I hope no one will mind if I read it to you:

TO MY FELLOW SWIMMERS:
    … this is the Hour. 
Here is a river flowing now very fast. 
It is so great and swift that there are those 
who will be afraid, who will try 
to hold on to the shore. 
They are being torn apart and 
will suffer greatly. 

Know that the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let  go  of  the shore. 
Push off into the middle of the river, 
and keep our heads above water. 
And I say see who is there with you and celebrate. 

At this time in history, 
we are to take nothing personally, 
least of all ourselves, 
for the moment we do, 
our spiritual growth and journey come to a halt. 

The time of the lone wolf is over. 
Gather yourselves. 
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and vocabulary. 
All that we do now must be done 
in a sacred manner and in celebration. 
For we are the ones we have been waiting for.

Thank you, all. I am going to close with words of perfect wisdom I found in a poem written by graduating senior Reya’s grandfather, the legendary William Stephenson, PhD. Goes like this …

“Remembering the teachers
In my past 
Is a time of grace.” 

Thank you, Bill. Class of 2021, thank you for becoming our teachers. Your final assignment from The Grauer School is to go out and find new teachers, and please remember the old. Nothing will take you to your destiny better than connections to great teachers, in any form. You don’t need to hold on to any particular college major or idea to do that. You don’t need to hang on to any causes, egos—you can let go of those. Let go of theories The great teacher is the one who shows you things to love, wherever you are.   

Thank you.

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