The Paradox of Joy

We support those who are experiencing hate and violence, whether it is related to perceived race, religion, sexual orientation, immigration status, gender expression, or any other circumstance.

If ever we have been celebrating, these are the days: senior graduation defenses, a proud tradition of The Grauer School, left us inspired and moved if not in tears last week: our seniors are truly embodying the compassion, love of life, and gratitude we set out to instill in them when they joined us 4 to 6 years ago. The high school prom was a celebration of connection and good vibes. I even got invited! Our beloved Grauerpalooza Festival of Music and Arts is ready to launch this week. Our students feel safe and happy, a blessing we don’t take for granted. 

Amidst this time of success and celebration, none of us can avoid the vicarious experience of the crazy, cruel, continued serial violence of this past week in various places around the country: Buffalo, Laguna Woods, and Milwaukee. We can’t really celebrate without splitting those joyful thoughts in honor of and sadness for the families and loved ones of those who have lost their lives, yet again. More lives were taken, wounded or fractured in the racially-motivated Buffalo Supermarket massacre, and the politically-motivated hate shooting in Laguna Woods and in Milwaukee.
 
Like so many epidemics, most of us can only read about these incidents like numbers. But I sometimes feel like the ignorance, fear, and cruelty is closing in on us. This year, for the first time ever, a family who signed up for our school from Europe cancelled their enrollment: “It is too violent for our children,” they said. I tried to explain, “but not in our town,” but I understood: all Americans own this terrible situation. We have to grieve and face the situation that we are in across our nation impacted by hatred, racism, and gun violence.

Large numbers of ignorant Americans are convinced that they are being “replaced” by African Americans who have no right to be their equals. The epidemic is not gun violence or racism, or even Covid 19. It is ignorance. This, too, is epidemic.

Large numbers of Americans are equally convinced that an archaic clause in the Constitution written well over 200 years ago when the right to bear arms meant muskets means today we can all have whatever it takes to become mass murderers. It leaves me asking: What is government for? What is education for?

Long ago, the legendary philosopher Fredrich Nietzsche, left academia claiming that modern education is a lost cause. It is beyond redemption, he claimed, because (1) true teachers can no longer be found and (2) we are almost incapable of educating ourselves. For most of my teaching career this seemed like the abstract philosophy of the depressed, up until these days. We are now witnessing something I never imagined. It is not just that reactionary racists are seizing the classrooms as a part of a culture war. It is not just that misinformation is causing a rapid uptick in threats to educators and school board members. Small but extremely vocal groups are using the viral nature of social media to spread fear about race in the classroom—and some are using automatic weapons. But I have not left, we have great teachers at our school, and we are educating one another, pressing on, even joyfully here at The Grauer School.

Just recently, Congressman Madison Cawthorn told college students at the Turning Point USA conference to drop out — as he had done — because higher education is a “scam.” This confused young man lost his primarily election just yesterday. All the same, we live in a time where people are actually starting to brag about not being educated—like it makes them have some kind of wisdom of the common man, whatever that is. Okay, let’s go with what that really means: less education means less openness to nuance and ambiguity, more rigid thoughts, and more judgmental or ideological views on how righteous their own minds are. 

Education unites, ignorance divides. That’s how you can tell them apart. Here’s a pop quiz:

A year ago already, NBC News identified at least 165 local and national groups across the U.S. working to turn disagreements over COVID mandates and lessons on race and gender into a divisive, inflexible wedge. Education news outlet Chalkbeat identified 28 states that have attempted to “restrict education on racism, bias, the contributions of specific racial or ethnic groups to U.S. history, or related topics.” Which is that? Education or ignorance?

The Dunning-Kruger Effect documents how people can come to believe in their own high intelligence despite doing nothing intentional to develop their minds. A rapidly growing demographic in the US is the group that believes that going to college has a negative impact on the country.

Right now, it is time for us all to demonstrate support for our Black and African American community, targeted again in Buffalo, New York by a domestic terrorist and white supremacist. It’s also a time to honor those who are staying in this increasingly threatened, increasingly noble work as educators.

The Grauer School obviously strives to create not just advanced and flexible intelligence and creativity, but a just campus climate for all kindhearted students, including of course historically marginalized groups. Obviously, we are in a suburban area which does not have the diversity of Buffalo, but we must grieve for those who have been made victims, if not march—in unity.  

Nor are we at our school completely exempt from bias, division or cruelty. We see it, even on our campus, sometimes through the innocent, mimicking mouths of the young, who may not be innocent for long. We work daily to keep it outside of our Tolerance Gateway. Keeping the gate, and lifting ourselves and our students up from ignorance and divisiveness is a fundamental charge for our work. Here inside the gate, I understand how easy it might be to assume we are immune, and I wish that were true. While it is true that me and my staff generally don’t have shootings or violence on our radars, we have not grown up in the toxic media environment that now exists.

Our students are not so lucky or immune: “I think about it every day, what I would do, if I could talk them out of it, wherever I am I could be thinking about it,” says a senior, concerned with active shooters right here, right now. And I am stunned. This is heartbreaking to imagine what it would be like growing up like that. I shared this with my daughter who is an elementary teacher up in Los Angeles and she explained that her school has had about ten active shooter drills this year. What impact is this supposed to have on second graders?

It would be so easy to assume that the peace of mind I am accustomed to is a given for our students, growing up in what medical experts universally refer to as an anxiety epidemic. The shootings and social media and general exposure really do impact our kids. Even here. I want my students to grow up anxiety free not only because I would hardly wish the discomfort of anxiety on anyone, but just as much because I want them to have maximum access to the creative, free and peaceful part of their minds that anxiety masks. The paradox here could be that her anxiety is also her sensitivity and empathy.

We support those who are experiencing hate and violence, whether it is related to perceived race, religion, sexual orientation, immigration status, gender expression, or any other circumstance.

Inequity, racism, violence, discrimination, and hate that we face as a nation and even in its far more subtle forms right here in our school community must be identified and addressed directly. We can address these through narcissism and victimhood, or we can address these through education. You pick.

Each of us must do our part to create a caring school and community, and a happy childhood. That means education. Education connects, if it’s real education. We are not helpless. Educating ourselves is a far greater strategy for change than shock and appall, judgement and violence. Endowing our financial aid scholarship fund is a far greater strategy for inclusion than setting ourselves apart.

No one is exempt. If you have been on the receiving or witnessing end of any inhumane or cruel actions, we are on your side and we believe that education is the answer. We deserve to celebrate the joyful traditions we have earned in advancing our school over the decades, just as this week’s tragic victims deserve our deference and mourning. Holding both in our hearts at once, joy and sorrow, is a function I believe only the well-educated or the broadly intelligent can manage.

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